Today, I held my baby while they stuck a needle in his arm for the 3rd time in 7 days. Today, I listened to him whimper like a puppy while they moved the needle around trying to find what he doesn't have. Today, I watched, while the vein, gave no more, and his tiny pale arm, turned purple as the needle burst the vein. Today, I listened while the doctor told me, "It's 2 points lower than before". Today, I learned that he is now 4 points away from a transfusion. Today, I waited ALL day for a call from a specialist that NEVER came. Today, I hid my tears, so no strangers, that I passed, saw my pain. Today, I felt a pulling from my knotted stomach, to my heart in my throat. Today, I held him for his nap, instead of placing him in his crib, to get "things" done. Today, I laid with his smiling face touching mine and stared at his dreamy blue eyes. Today, I savored every, laugh, squeal and "momma" that his beautiful lips could make. Today, I felt alone, because I can't make it "better" and I am his mommy! Today, I prayed for healing, that I cannot control. Today, I needed to trust God, because Bryce belongs to Him. Today........
Tomorrow.....
Tomorrow, I will give my blood, to have incase God needs it for my son. Tomorrow, I will pray for a Will that might not be my own. Tomorrow, I will be thankful, and praise God for all He has done. Tomorrow, I will be stronger, because I am... the mom....HIS mom....BRYCE'S MOM!...tomorrow
8 comments:
I'm crying. I wish I could give you and Bryce a big hug! I will pray continually until he gets better. I will pray that God heals that little body and he does not need a transfusion.
I am serious, I will give blood if you need me too. Whatever I can do, I will.
I have also held Boyd for his nap, instead of putting him in his crib. I think God lets us know when our babies need us the most.
I'm hoping for the best. I know your heart is heavy. LET ME KNOW IF I CAN HELP! Love ya girl!
Bless you heart... I am sorry I wasn't over here when this all went down... Sending you prayers & warm wishes... Eva was in the hospital last summer with Lymes disease... although I will never forget it, she bounced right back...sometimes it is harder on the mommies... hang in there...Hugs!
Hey. I'm praying for y'all. I'm gonna have to call you and chat to find out all the details of what is going on with your baby boy. I have read the posts, but I just want to talk to you:) Hope today is a good day!
I hope that he gets better very soon!
http://www.eyeballgirl.com
Oh my dear friend I am definitely praying for you!
my heart is with you. many prayers. I simply can not imagine your worry.
hugs!
Oh Gwen... This post is the most honest, heartbreaking, beautiful, sad, encouraging, loving, and truthful post I have ever read. I have been there! I know how your heart aches and you feel helpless! I know how you feel you HAVE to be the strongest one, but want to be the weakest! I know how it feels to turn it over to GOD and know HE is in CONTROL!!!! I know how he heals! I also know how he places people....FRIENDS in our lives that are there for us to lean on and cry with and gripe with and vent to and praise God with! We love you and Bryce and we are praying each and every day....ALL DAY!!!!
Oh Gwen! You and Bryce and Bryan are in my prayers! I cannot imagine the emotions you are dealing with. I'm praying for peace and strength for you guys. Praying hard for no transfusion! Love you all!
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